My Brain Has Bad Wiring
I often find myself watching my brain at work, puzzling over its various quirks. Note that I say *it*. Julia Sweeney mentioned something of the kind in Letting Go Of God, that we seem perversely incapable of viewing these innerworkings as being ourselves. My brain is a little machine, it isn't me. Except that it is. And I am afraid that I am not possessed of a sleek and efficient device like my MacBook laptop. No, my brain unfortunately more closely resembles a particularly badly-designed Rube Goldberg contraption, clicking away with little marbles and dominoes flying every which way. Kinda interesting if you are into the whole steampunk world, but not terribly useful if you are trying to take an exam on Etruscan politics or recall all the Roman emperors in order.
One of the things that most amuses me is my word recall. I have a pretty extensive vocabulary due to the many, many books I have read over the years. But it's not very accessible, as each word requires a tiny brain hamster to crawl through a maze, down a zigzag ramp, ride an elevator up, and then swing through the air to the correct elevated platform and ring the red bell. The yellow bell means the hamster gets flattened by a large Monty Python foot, and - alas - my brain hamsters are not too bright and I have lost many of them to the foot, resulting in me standing slack-jawed in the middle of a conversation and completely at a loss for words.
SteamPunk Brains...
But, thankfully (I guess), I can usually manage to retrieve a word from this process. Most often not the right word, but a word nonetheless. And it's generally a word that is pretty close to almost being what I wanted, so if I send the hamster back a few times more I can sometimes find the RIGHT ONE. I wrote down some examples from today.
Searching...
1) dog-tagged. NO
2) dog-earred. NO
3) ear-marked. YES!
Searching...
1) black list. NO
2) white wash. NO
3) blackmailed. YES!
As I'm sure you can see, this means that most conversations with me can be quite entertaining as I dance around (sometimes quite literally) trying to find the right word. And then a hamster dies and it all comes to a painful, stuttering halt.
This is why I prefer to use email. And why I never answer my phone (sorry, Mom and Dad!).
One of the things that most amuses me is my word recall. I have a pretty extensive vocabulary due to the many, many books I have read over the years. But it's not very accessible, as each word requires a tiny brain hamster to crawl through a maze, down a zigzag ramp, ride an elevator up, and then swing through the air to the correct elevated platform and ring the red bell. The yellow bell means the hamster gets flattened by a large Monty Python foot, and - alas - my brain hamsters are not too bright and I have lost many of them to the foot, resulting in me standing slack-jawed in the middle of a conversation and completely at a loss for words.
SteamPunk Brains...
But, thankfully (I guess), I can usually manage to retrieve a word from this process. Most often not the right word, but a word nonetheless. And it's generally a word that is pretty close to almost being what I wanted, so if I send the hamster back a few times more I can sometimes find the RIGHT ONE. I wrote down some examples from today.
Searching...
1) dog-tagged. NO
2) dog-earred. NO
3) ear-marked. YES!
Searching...
1) black list. NO
2) white wash. NO
3) blackmailed. YES!
As I'm sure you can see, this means that most conversations with me can be quite entertaining as I dance around (sometimes quite literally) trying to find the right word. And then a hamster dies and it all comes to a painful, stuttering halt.
This is why I prefer to use email. And why I never answer my phone (sorry, Mom and Dad!).
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At least you finally find the right word. I had a co-worker once who always said "disconcerning" when he meant "disconcerting."
Small difference in sound, BIG difference in meaning.
He needs _The Highly Selective Dictionary For The Extraordinarily Literate_. I love that book, and I must admit that there are words in there that I have or do misuse. In fact, even though I well know the difference between discrete and discreet, I am a little too liberal with discrete sometimes, because it tends to absorb discreet in my head and morph into a hybrid meaning, "a small and unobtrusive distinct entity." Haha.
Mostly when this happens to me, though, it has nothing to do with sounding similar. I have some dyslexic displacement of words in my head and no matter how often I reach for "chives," I always get "chervil." *sigh*